The Miss Adventures Of Innocent Fourth Excerpt

The Miss Adventures Of Innocent

The Homerun
It had been a long day. It was Christmas. The holidays. The strip club was empty this time of year. All of the husbands had to be family men. So the main customers who stopped by after work, the regulars, the ones that told their wives "I had to work late" couldn't stop by for a quick $100.00 lap dance and the patented hug. Innocent who had no family hated the holidays. She didn't allow men to give her gifts. She watched an episode of That's So Raven as a kid that scared her out of her mind. Raven had stood up for a kid from Africa that was being made fun of for his funny clothes. His African Garments. She stood up for him and he began buying her extravagant gifts. She thought nothing of it but in his country if a woman took gifts that meant she wanted to be married. She was about to become a Princess. Now to the average woman that would be fine. But what scared Innocent was that Raven backed out of the deal when she found out. Why is the weird reader? I mean this is money hungry Innocent right? Well here's a piece of the answer.....Raven-Symoné Christina Pearman has worked for Disney for as long as Innocent could remember but she and another black woman denied the chance to be the legendary Disney Princess Role. So she never took gifts from men. She bought her own.


Innocent was an actress though. She simply played sick. She told her boss she had a sore throat. And since Innocent acted like a typical hoe the owner of the Joker club assumed she probably had been sucking dick for a high fee and her job involved a lot of talking so she got two days off.

Innocent was alone. Her holidays. What was a gift? She bought gifts all the time. She sat alone in her home reading a comic book entitled Emma Frost. It was a limited edition series about a rich white woman that was in competition with her wealthy family. It was her favorite series. She had every issue of the limited series. She read all 18 issues for her morning enjoyment as she ate yogurt, then eggs and bacon to follow. She had a large glass of OJ as she smoked out of her G Pen.

For her afternoon she played Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 on her Sega Dreamcast. She picked Cable, Iceman, and Ryu because when they all did a combined super it racked an unbelievable high hit ratio. She liked a high score at the end of the game.

That evening she made dinner while she listened to Nirvana. She loved Kurt Cobain and thoght Courtney Love had participated in the murder of him. She hated Courtney Love. She thought Kurt Cobain was God. (These are her ideas and later much later you will here a totally different perspective from the young man you witnessed in "The Miss Adventures Of Innocent Tale Kamikaze)

She made a handmade hamburger and drank from a $300.00 bottle of Ace Of Spades as she read a Kim Harrison Novel entitled The Outlaw Demon Wails. As dinner ended she yawned. She had another day off tomorrow. She wanted to work out tomorrow. She wanted to skateboard. After the death of Kato Chang she thought it would be funny to buy a longboard for the excercise I mean what type of idiot would try and jump off of a building with a fucking board. People can't fly. So she just cruised long distances. If you think about it jumping up and down in one area trying to film yourself to become famous on camera was the biggest "poser" shit she could think of. I mean you are signing to these big companies that are exposing your culture. The Rob Dyrdek story she told Kato was true so in here mind she thought about how dumb a skater could be. She knew he would get hurt but die? (This story is also in "The Miss Adventures Of Innocent Kamikaze Tale" )
She lay down in bed. Her huge bed. It was custom made to be larger then a King. She called it the Joker size. It took up a lot of space in her bedroom. It was full of pillows. Satin Sheets. Her cat Matlida jumped on the bed and laid next to her.



　

　

　

　

Innocent stood at the mound. She held the bat in her hands. The stadium was packed. The crowd was cheering. She had a baseball jersey on and a B string. She looked at the bullpen there was nothing but her in the bullpen. Clones.....clones? Yes. Clones reader all dressed in different clothing, different wigs, but they were her.

She looked on first base. It was her. Second base. It was her. The whole opposing team was her. The pitcher was her. The opposing team also had different high priced fashion on. The pitcher looked to have Kate Spade's on. A dress.

" Okay what the fuck is going on," Innocent asked at the top of her lungs. " And how come all you bitches have high priced clothing on. And I am wearing this bullshit as jersey and a b string? Not even Coach? Not even Coach?"

The pitcher sneered. She rolled her eyes. She could hear Innocent over the crowd for some reason.

" Well Innocent. This is a game of baseball. There are two outs. Two strikes. Three balls. No one on bases. The score is 1-0 them. Zero us. We are on your team. We are you. We tried to rig the game but we still can't win. They didn't tell us it was fixed already. There is only one half inning. We thought it was normal baseball when we signed the contract. They got us all out here for the biggest fix ever but it wasn't our fix. They tricked us. The lawyer that looked over the contract worked for them They own everything!!!! Everything", the pitcher explained and Innocent could hear her over the crowd even though the pitcher was whispering the words.

Innocent figured she didn't have to speak anymore since the crowd was obviously a hologram. They weren't real so Innocent could tune them out and so could the pitcher. All that mattered was her and the pitcher. So she decided to think her response.

Okay can you hear me? Innocent thought.

" Yes ," She heard the pitcher's voice clearly in her mind.

Who are they?

" I can't speak for them," the voice in her head said.

Well let me speak to them. I would never sign a contract where I couldn't talk.

The pitcher placed her hands in front of her and a head appeared out of nowhere and Innocent's knees buckled. The head was decapitated but the eyes were open and he was smiling but he was still beautiful. It was a clean cut. One slice under the neck all the way through. He didn't have a bruise on his face and that was still alive. The face that haunted her ever since she saw it outside of the Joker strip club months ago. It was Vincent McArthur The Third. ( For more on this tale see The Miss Adventures Of Innocent short story Knights On A Chessboard)

" This is what I am pitching to you," The pitcher's voice returned in Innocent's head.

" Good evening Mildred. My you look stupid. This is your 'one shot' like Eminem said. You lied to me. You do work at the Joker night club. You went from a Knight on a chess board to a night club. That was a pun on words. You were in charge of the school newspaper so I am sure you knew that already," Vincent smiled and his teeth looked whiter then the white rabbit Alice followed.

" Throw him," Innocent said as she suddenly gripped the bat very tightly.

" Innocent are you sure," the pitcher asked this time the voice wasn't in her head. They couldn't speak telepathically anymore after Vincent said his words.

" It seems you have fucked up. The whole games on the line. No here's what's going to happen. I'm going to hit you. And you're to going fall. And when it's all over you're going to wake up in bed and forget you had this dream. You are not going to remember this at all," Vincent said in a very sinister voice mimicking some film supervillain very well. He was enjoying this to the point where Innocent felt her ass cheeks clench.

" You fail to realize how much the crowd loves me Vincent," She laughed. " This is no fucking big deal. I'm gonna splatter you're fucking face. You think you're so cute don't you?"

" You're damn right I do."

Innocent slowly turned to Vincent and showed him her ass in the B String. She began clapping it mocking him. The crowd began cheering:

" Innocent! Innocent! Innocent!"

Innocent walked up to the pitcher as the crowd yelled. Vincent's head hovered in front of the pitcher's hands.

" Listen the crowd can hear us now. I showed them attention," Innocent whispered to the pitcher.

" Very smart Mildred. I expected no less from you," Vincent said as he looked upon Innocent and the better dressed pitcher.

" Throw him. I am going to hit his face," Innocent told the pitcher.

" His face? Innocent it's his fucking face. It's Vincent McArthur The Third. Bitch you're crazy. Have you noticed there is no catcher. Look at his face. Not a scratch. How can we have gone nine innings and never scored but he not have a scratch on his face. No dirt no nothing. This is baseball America's Greatest Past time. Something has to be hit. You have a fucking bat. The question is what did they hit? How did they get one point? And if we been striking out how come Vincent doesn't have a scar on his face? No dirt, no nothing," The pitcher said very slowly and low to Innocent with her catcher's mitt over her mouth so no one could read her lips.

Innocent turned back to the mound. The pitcher was right there was no catcher.

The crowd cheered louder. Innocent felt stupid for activating them now. They were a distraction now.

" Well I can tell you the point they got....if you can tell me why he doesn't have a scratch on his face", Innocent told the pitcher.

" I can't Innocent. I don't know! Tell me though please."

" The point was when he found out who I was," She said and walked off to the mound.

The crowd move was the craziest choice she made. She didn't think it all the way through. Now with the crowd paying attention she couldn't wait around forever. She had to play ball. And with a game this tight they were expecting a performance. She was confused. This made no sense. She saw her plan being ruined. It was suppose to happen just like this but not fixed before she fixed it.

She stood at the plate. The crowd cheering her name. The pitcher looked at her as she place her hands on Vincent's head. She didn't touch his perfect black hair with the blonde frosted tips. He said nothing.

Innocent gripped the bat. She was going to knock him out of the park. She was. She was. This was her dream. She had controlled her dreams before. She was going to hit him. She was going to hit him.

The pitcher through Vincent's head at her. It came like a fucking fastball. Right over the plate. She swung with all of her might after it had passed by her seconds earlier. Innocent had never played baseball a day in her life. The moment. The swing. The pitch. The strike. It was the realest part of the dream. She spun as she missed the ball. She did a complete circle that's how hard she had swung. She spun and after she spun she fell to the ground and landed on her knees.

The crowd booed and began throwing food and snacks on the baseball diamond. It seemed to last forever. Innocent buried her face in her hands as the food rain down on her. It was eternity. She wanted to wake up. She could make herself wake up from a dream. She did it all the time. She could wake up. But she couldn't. It was forever. Forever. Then....

There was nothing. No crowd. No nothing. Nothing at all. She was still on her knees. Hands on her face. She thought. The crowd didn't matter or their food. It wasn't real. She still won. Even if she missed there was no catcher. She may have lost some money but he still had to have had a fucked up face thrown at that speed with no catcher. She took her hands off her face and looked behind herself to see the damage.

There was a body holding a head in it's hand. The body of Vincent McArthur The Third. And the head of Vincent McArthur The Third. Together again. Vincent placed the head on his neck. Then he smiled the smile of a Cheshire Cat. His body was one in a Stacy Adam suit. He wore wing tipped shoes. And he smelled of Burberry Cologne.

" Well it looks like you lose Mildred. It's been nice but I have to get out of an empty stadium at this time of day with the likes of someone like you. And get off your knees bitch. You couldn't afford to see it let alone suck it," Vincent walked off shaking his head in disgust.



　

　

Innocent woke up in bed to something touching her forehead. She was about to strike but saw the face of Matlida. They stared at each other for a moment. Then Matilda hopped out of the bed and walked off.

Innocent sat up in bed. She was sweating crazily. The bed was soaked. She had pissed the bed. She had pissed the bed.

She sighed for a moment.

She had made a decision. She had to find Vincent McArthur The Third before it was too late.

　

　

To be Continued......

This short story is dedicated to my cousin Nick October's Very Own Goodman. The biggest sports fan I know. "My brother and me." Merry Christmas to everyone checking the blog out.


~Marcus Dewayne Banks